On My Own - 2024 11 05

 

It is an early evening now that the clocks have changed. I'm home alone. Matt is down at Nahanni's farm helping her get fencing in to keep the coyotes from picking off stray chickens. The fence will allow her two Great Pyrenees guardians to roam the property outside the donkey corral.

This is the song I wrote after Mom passed. I worked on it during the weeks while we waited for her cremated remains to come home. Tom and I played it on the day we brought her remains home.

I'm not used to playing alone. It isn't my favourite way to play music. I guess I am a social musician. I enjoy music-making the most when I can play with others. 

When I am alone, it is easy to fall into the trap of self-consciousness and perfectionistic expectations that have no bearing on the reality of who I am, what I can do, and what I am doing.

This evening the next right thing to do was to set up my camera and plug in my ubass. This recording isn't perfect, but will they ever be? 

I got it done and that is a start.

It is a brave new world. This is very difficult for me to do, but if I don't do it, I won't ever face my fear and do it anyway.